The Comparison TRAP!

Published by Karie Millspaugh on May 19, 2018May 19, 2018

The Comparison Trap

This trap my dears is a tricky one and can leave you feeling empty, ashamed and frustrated.

Read my experience to see if you can relate, keep in mind this can happen in ANY industry.

As a Coach for over 13 years I caught myself comparing my career to my colleagues. At first it was just to simply see what benchmarks I wanted to achieve next.

I had already saturated my inner circle with the coaching industry on Social Media, so it was easy to do, in fact it was almost impossible to avoid.

That’s when I started down this path, see if any of this sounds familiar to you.

I think it all began when I took my coaching hobby to a global business in 2013. I started with building an email list by doing a virtual summit. I followed my coaches advice in a group program. It was exhausting for me at that time as I was also juggling single motherhood and a full time corporate job.

My virtual summit only resulted in 300 subscriptions as my colleagues were hitting over 5,000 with their virtual summits, I started to feel like I was tarnished in some way. Maybe I’m not good enough were the thoughts that clouded my mind, and that’s when the downward spiral of energy began.

I wanted to publish a book, so I did. I was only a best seller, not #1 Best Seller and most definitely not a New York Times Best Seller.

So instead of enjoying the energy of publishing my first book, I felt like I missed the mark altogether.

In fact, I didn’t even coordinate any book signings or use that tool to open doors for speaking events which was my original game plan. Instead I left that box unchecked altogether.

When I first took my business online I wanted to sell out my coaching programs like my peers had done. My first group program only had 8 individuals in it and I charged way too low for my services. I felt silly as my colleagues were selling out programs and making serious bank with upfront sales.

Once again, I felt like a failure. Somehow, I had done it wrong or I wasn’t supposed to be in this industry.

I would close sales and my new clients would come on board and tell me that I was charging $15k less than my competitors. <Slaps Forehead>.

“What the heck, I really suck at this”, would be my thoughts.

I found out early on that I enjoyed coaching more VIP clients one on one than in a group program.

I loved how fast things moved in their business and how quickly that guide from the side approach created faster results.

Then looking at my peers, I once again was reminded that you should only leverage your time with large groups and that charging for one to one coaching should be an astronomical fee that very few could actually afford.

Ohhhhh… I should be charging $4k an hour for my VIP coaching?

This led to more confusion and feelings of low self-worth.

Then I peeked out again to see most of my colleagues creating events for their brand. Hundreds of fans, followers and clients were flying in to hear their sales pitch on stage. We all know what comes next, they sell out a program with hundreds of clients in one group.

Which leads me to paid keynote speaking engagements. I absolutely love public speaking and will happily send out proposals on my behalf and my clients. In fact I have a few clients that speak close to 75 times a year. That is another goal, that is not MY goal. I like my home, I love my daughter and my bed is way better than most hotel rooms. I am OK speaking once a quarter for now.

Now, all of this is 100% perfect for whomever wishes to achieve those benchmarks. I am not saying that it isn’t.

Except… YOUR goals with your business, were never MY goals with mine.

Instead of feeling like I kept coming up short, I had to stop re-evaluate my business.

I started my business for 2 reasons:

1) I wanted to experience flexibility in my schedule so that I could be a hands-on mom.

2) I wanted the freedom to speak my voice and truth without the constrictions of a political corporate job.

That. Was. It.

The fact that I helped many clients all over the world achieve the same thing was a huge bonus for me!

So, I had to take a step back and change my perspective.

I wanted to write a book because I must help people, it’s in my DNA. I know the strategy to become #1 Best Seller and I wanted to sell my book honestly to those that would actually read it and pass it on.

I detest large group programs. I love helping people intimately with their challenges and I have never been OK with allowing clients to fall through the cracks.

Group programs are not my favorite and I decided to place a pause on doing them this year altogether. I don’t believe in a cookie cutter process. We are all wired differently and many of us have unique learning styles that require more intimate Mentorship.

I will always consult one to one as that is my best skill set. I am intuitive, I want to tap into the client’s true self when it comes to their branding and marketing. That gets missed often in a group program. As for my fees, I’ll charge whatever I want to, not what others think is the proper fee.

Now let’s focus on events. I’ve had many colleagues that have wanted to create events together, and I am flattered, but that sounds like a nightmare to me. I managed a 52-city tour for my last boss and I already know first hand how much work goes into that type of marketing strategy. I know it’s effective but it’s also very costly and energetically that doesn’t seem to have the ROI that I am seeking in my career.

So once again, YOUR goals, are not MY goals.

I am very happy serving a handful of VIP clients. I am perfectly satisfied speaking on stages when my schedule allows for it, and I published a book with many more to add to the series.

I get to celebrate my successes, even if they don’t match yours.

Most of all, I am sticking to the reason WHY I started my business in the first place, freedom and flexibility.

What is your reason that you started your business and how can you get back on track?