Mirror Mirror…on the wall…

Are you the type that enjoys feedback from others? I’m not referring to the critical kind, I’m speaking of constructive criticism. Feedback that is healthy, that will help you grow into a better person.

OR…

Are you the type that runs away and hides with your fingers in your ears screaming?

I used to live in a state of denial also. I don’t recommend staying in that space for very long. Running away from your true self and not exploring self-awareness is slowing down your chances of growing into a more bigger person. Bigger as in… more value to yourself, family and loved ones. Bigger in your career…more people you can help and so on.

I grew up in a large family. I’m one of 5 kids, so criticism came in all shapes and sizes. It came in the form of teasing, competitiveness and jealousy. I learned to tune it out over the years as I took it as a form of competition. Or… simply by hearing, that “Karie is dad’s favorite” or anything of that sort just caused me to shut down.

Years later into my adult hood I found that I never listened to anything my family had to say regarding advice. Isn’t that interesting? Do you find yourself doing that also? Do you find that the dear sister that you love won’t listen to a word you say because once upon a time you two were pulling each others hair and calling each other names?

Why is it that we tune out some people while tuning into complete strangers instead?

I’ve worked with many clients in this area. In fact, if they are not willing to do a self-evaluation to understand how they are wired in the first place, I do not accept them as a client. It’s nearly impossible to start down a path to self-growth if you’re not open-minded. If your career of choice is to help others and also be a coach all the more reason to work on YOU first. How can you help others understand their behavioral patterns if you aren’t willing to explore your own.

I want you to evaluate yourself right now:

Are you Type A?

Open and willing to take any assessment or evaluation to better understand yourself, in fact are you so willing to take it that you do it right away and are eager to read the full report of your results?

Or are you…

Type B?

Running the other direction. Finding an excuse to put it off. Claiming you’re too busy to do the evaluation or better yet, you finally do it but won’t open up the full report and read it.

Type A are open-minded individuals that actually get pure enjoyment out of learning about themselves. They dive head first to find out what makes them tick, how they react to information, are they big picture thinkers or tiny detailed information gatherers?

Type B are closed-minded individuals that prefer to stay in a state of denial. Where they feel it’s safe from opening any doors of pain that may be from their past. My heart bleeds for these people… I never coach them as it would be a nightmare of roadblocks and self sabotage… but I do plant a seed of thought with them and in hopes that they process it and turn back around one day to getting the mentoring they need.

I laugh as I relive this memory. In June 2012 we had a family reunion. We rented a lake house for a week and had a blast, just us 5 kids with our mom and dad. By Day 2 I had my entire family do a personality test evaluation… boy was that fun! I gathered everyone in a circle and explained each person …their strengths, their weaknesses and where those showed up best in their life. Some shed tears including Ms. Karie the emotional one… but most of all the light bulb clicked on for all of us. You could see a different level of awareness, acceptance, tolerance and love for one another show up in that room. Going forward we seemed more patient with one another and would even joke about the extreme differences in some of us regardless of our DNA connection. It was life changing and memorable for all of us… just wished we had done it even sooner.

My recommendation to you is 2 activities to complete IF you are TYPE A… if you’re a TYPE B as I described above, you’ve already stopped reading and have shut down.

1) One, go online and look for personality tests. You can Google assessment… my 2 favorites are the Enneagram test and the DiSC. The Enneagram is a lot more detailed and has been around for decades… the DiSC is more for work related type personalities, both very informative and eye opening.

2) I have a book recommendation. This was SERIOUS mirror time for me when I read this book last year. It’s “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford. This will help you understand all of yourself, the good, bad and the ugly and why some people really push your buttons while others are amazing to be around. Take a peak on Amazon to see if it’s a good fit for you. http://www.amazon.com/The-Dark-Side-Light-Chasers/dp/1594485259/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1392015758&sr=8-1&keywords=darkside+of+the+light+chasers

As always… I pray I have added value to your life somehow in some way and I will see you around in my next article.

Yours in abundance,
Karie Millspaugh

Wellness Coach